Nostalgia for the Best Years of my Life (yet)

I am entering the first year of the new decade with a heavy heart and a head full of fears. 2019 scarred me, especially the latter half. Why does the latter half of the year always have to do me dirty? First it was 2016 and then 2019.

I’m entering 2020 with my mind and heart longing for the nostalgia of the better days around the time I felt so alive, motivated, and inspired. Before the year ended, I had an introspection, of all the years in the past decade, 2017 & 2018 was the time I felt blissful. There were shitty days yes, but there is no such thing as a year perfectly free from setbacks. That certain period of time was when I felt happy because I was experiencing and achieving things, it was the time when I felt most driven when making art and in pursuing my dreams. Looking back, it was the time when I wasn’t carrying a heavy burden, when I don’t feel like I’m only dragging myself to get up in the morning—I was thriving and I was at peace.

Maybe 2017 was good because  17 is my lucky number, but I knew damn well the answer to why it was the best time of my life. It’s all written in this blogpost, Hey 2017, Thanks. It’s just a bullet form of all the things that happened to me back then but there’s so much more. It was the year I started trying something new, I started journaling and who knew that it would be the best thing ever. It’s a struggle updating it but it gives me so much joy that I find time to do it despite my busy schedule. On the first day of the new decade I find myself looking back at my 2017-2018 entries and I realized what a treasure my journal is. It’s a look book if I want to go back to a certain period of my life and feel what I’ve felt during those times. 2017 was the year where I took initiative and started my artistic endeavors.

I realized that I didn’t have any blogpost about 2018 but I do remember making a bunch of Instagram stories summarizing the highlights of my year and it was fulfilling. It was the year when I improved in journaling and would put extra effort in doing my journal entries. The beginning of the year gave me Lady Bird, The Greatest Showman, and Call Me By Your Name and it made want to really pursue my dream as someone who writes scripts. It was also a fulfilling year in terms of my career, another one of my artwork got accepted as part of UST Central Student Council’s Art Exhibit for Mental Health Awareness, a freelance artist hired me to write engaging write-ups for her products and it really boosted my confidence as a writer, my artwork got shortlisted for a coffee brand’s art contest. I had the best semester of my life (yet), my last semester in Senior High School and honestly it’s kind of bittersweet, it’s unfair how my best semester with my first family in UST is also my last one with them, I graduated Senior High School without honors, I was disappointed but I guess I feel relieved from all the academic stress and pressure and I did tell myself I was going to keep a low academic profile in SHS, take a rest from the four years of academic pressure Junior High School gave me (10th grade was a bitch to my mental health) and prepare for the real storm of my life, college. 2018 was also the year I took a leap of faith and applied for Tiger Media Network, I got in and immediately got offered the position of being an Executive Associate to the Online Media Head just before the year ended.

I know I can’t go back to those days because time will keep running, it won’t wait for me, therefore all I can do is to move forward and cherish all the memories I’ve made in those best years of my life. 2017-2018 truly was the best years of the decade for me and it was because I lived and continued to do art. 2019 was completely devoid of it especially the latter half. I was drowning in academic and extra-curricular work that I didn’t have time for myself—this proves that life is boring and sad without art.

 

 

Hey 2017, Thanks.

“Hey, 2017! Thanks, you weren’t that shitty after all.”

You were a blast and I just want to thank you for these amazing surprises and discoveries as well as all the opportunities and risk I took during your reigning year:

• January 2017: Started ABC’s Daily Journal 
  – Though I didn’t keep it up during the latter half of the year because my schedule and load work hindered me from updating, it was still fun (and tiring) to keep a journal, scrapbook style.

 

• January 2017: Paper Towns Movie and Movie Soundtrack
  – I had a major hangover for this movie

 

• January 2017: Me and Earl and the Dying Girl
  – “This is the movie that didn’t glamorize cancer. It’s beautiful. This is the movie that tells us life is full of unexpected turn of events and it is short. This is  the movie that left me in awe. It’s beautiful.” (Read my review here)

 

• January 2017: “I Am Smart in My Own Way”
   – another article of mine got featured on candymag.com. (Read it here)

#FILEDFunOnFleek Art Exhibit

 

For the past few months I’ve been sending some of my works to online magazines and websites to get my artworks, photographs and writings featured but no such luck came to me and all I received were emails saying I didn’t make the cut or nothing at all. Nevertheless, I didn’t let it hinder me from finding more opportunities to get my works out there and inspire people through my works.

Last Monday, November 6, I was stressed and in a hurry to compile all of my blockmates YouTube links for our Job Interview Activity for our Media and Information Literacy subject and send it to our professor by 5pm. Of course, like I anticipated it, some sent their link later than my deadline. After pouring my disappointment in our class group chat and while waiting for the others to send me their links, I decided to check my email and make a draft explaining and apologizing to our professor why I wasn’t able to send the complete list on time.

Tapping the mail icon on my ipad, I instantly saw two unread emails but something caught my attention, one was from an odd email address that is surely new to my eyes; it wasn’t from the usual email addresses I receive containing newsletters and updates. It was an email from marketing@filed.com.ph. My heart fluttered because I wasn’t expecting a reply. I sent my artworks to the team on the day of its deadline and I wasn’t even sure my works are worthy to be placed in an exhibit after not making the cut for Woman Create’s 365 Wonders planner and ALPAS Journal’s literary magazine.  And then I remembered ALPAS Journal’s email regarding my job application last summer and my submission for their second issue informing me that they won’t be able to move forward with my application and that they won’t be able to include my works in the upcoming issue of ALPAS Journal.

I tapped to read the whole email and while it was loading, I lowered my expectation and expected the worst. During those few seconds I said to myself, “Maybe this is another email informing me that my works didn’t make the cut, I am so used to rejection that I won’t be surprised if that email states that my artworks won’t be included in the art exhibit”

So the email finally loaded and as I read through the message, my jaw dropped. I stood my from my seat and spun around like Hermione during the Yule Ball scene in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire after spending a wonderful night with Viktor Krum. I read the letter twice just to make sure and process all the details. Once I knew that I wasn’t dreaming and the email is legit saying that filed is happy to take care of the printing and inviting me to drop by the event to see my works displayed, I ran into the next room and asked my mom if I could go to Century City Mall in Makati to go to the event on Saturday. Her eyebrows knitted and I knew she was about to question my reasons since first, I have no idea where the venue is and second, she already has plans on Saturday. But her face lit up once I told her that Filed included my artworks for their Planner Launch Art Exhibit.

It was the day of the event and though I wanted to be a walk-in to register and listen to the inspiring and talented speakers who will give talks about business, freelance, branding, blogging and entrepreneurship, I sacrificed it and skipped it to attend my classes.

On our way to the event, we experienced a lot of bumps and bad luck. We had to go through severe traffic caused by road blocking for the ASEAN Summit 2017. It took us three hours to arrive in Makati Circle, from there we went walking around in circle trying to find a ride to Century City Mall.

 

 

We arrived at the venue at 4:30. I instantly saw my visual artwork of Holland Roden. After taking a few pictures, I was kind of disappointed because we went through all that trouble just to see a miniature printed form of my artwork but then I saw my watercolor typography of a quote from Rainbow Rowell’s book, Eleanor and Park and my heart jumped seeing it and right beside it was the collage I made for our Contemporary Philippine Arts from the Regions class. Finally, at the very top right corner of the wall, I saw my newly edited artwork of Wonder Woman/Gal Gadot.  I was smiling from ear to ear seeing all four of my artworks displayed in an art exhibit.

It was the first time my artworks got included  in an art exhibit and I would definitely like to thank Filed for making one of my goals in life come true; getting my artworks displayed in art exhibit. It was an exhausting day but the heat, the traffic, the long walks and the pain of my aching legs were worth feeling the euphoria of seeing my artworks displayed in an art exhibit together with my fellow artists as we inspire and bring happiness to the attendees of the events through our artworks.

All Time Low: The Young Renegades Tour (Manila 2017)

The first time All Time Low set foot on Philippine soil and performed in front of thousand Filipino Hustlers was in year 2011. Their second time around was two years ago, August 12, 2015. It was heartbreaking to know that my favorite band will perform (together with The Main as an opening act) at Mall of Asia Arena in Pasay City and I won’t get to see them. Academics, killer and exhausting practice for our Sabayang Pagbigkas prevented me from going. But now, it’s their third time here in the Philippines and I didn’t miss it for the world.

The concert was part of my 18th birthday celebration. Originally, I was supposed to go to Coldplay: A Head full of Dreams Tour but sadly, the concert tickets were sold out even before 2017 came. April 4, 2017 was the day I promised myself that as long as I have money and time, I won’t be #TeamBahay (a term used by Filipinos when you’re not going to an event) for any concerts ever again. My social media accounts were blowing up with Coldplay AHFOD Tour in Manila posts. I never felt such jealousy in my life so when news broke that All Time Low, my fave band is performing in Manila for the third time around, I grabbed the chance and had one of the best nights of my life.

Short prologue prior to concert night, I was anxious (as fuck) because academics kinda got in the way. The night before, I found out that backpacks were not allowed inside the arena, this caused me to ditch my backpack and opt for a small shoulder bag. Thinking about it, this is kind of hassle to my part since I’ll be attending classes before heading to the arena, meaning I have to play Hunger Games with my school stuff—which supplies do I have to ditch and which stuff do I bring with me. Next, I need to get my registration form from the UST SHS Office but office hours resumes at 1:15 pm and my class ends at 12 noon, so I have to wait a little longer before I leave uni. I also have PE class on Tuesdays, from 3-5 pm. It was supposed to be our first swimming class for the semester and I’m nervous about missing out on swimming lessons and techniques. I decided to skip swimming class even though the show starts 7:30 pm and my PE class ends at 5 pm because traffic in the city is unpredictable. But God is good all the time and all my worries went out the window when it was announced that classes were suspended because of monsoon rains.

I arrived at the venue at 3 PM and it was already packed with Hustlers, hustling their way inside the arena. (Yes, pun intended). You can easily identify the concert goers judging from the outfits—denim jackets, denim jackets everywhere!

It was already past 5 PM when I decided to get in line and holyyyy it was damn long line. It was almost seven when I got into the arena and arrived on my seat. My first thought when I sat down was, ‘Wow the show haven’t started yet and I am already broke’. I bought an All Time Low light up crown and the official poster of The Young Renegades Tour and you guys know what? I am broke but happy.

At exactly, 7:30 PM, the band, As It Is came out on stage and started the show. To be honest, I wasn’t really familiar with the band. I’ve heard some of their songs once and that’s it. I really wished it was The Maine performing up there or even Tegan and Sara but after seeing them perform live, they made me think otherwise. I promised myself that as soon as I got home, I’m gonna download their songs and rock out to the tune of their music.

 

It was a long wait before All Time Low finally took the stage. The lights went out, the screen on stage started showing visuals, the band came out on stage and then Last Young Renegade’s tune erupted and everyone went wild.

All Time Low Young Renegades Tour Set list:

• Last Young Renegade
• Damned If I Do Ya (Damned If I Don’t)
• Runaways
• Backseat Serenade
• Dirty Laundry
• Nice2Knou
• Missing You
• Cinderblock Garden
• Vegas
• Something’s Gotta Give
• Therapy
• Weightless
• Life of the Party
• Lost in Stereo
• Good Times
• Kids In The Dark
• Drugs & Candy
• Dear Maria, Count Me In

When Last Young Renegade was playing, I felt like I was on cloud nine. I was filled with so much euphoria all I can think about that time was how I am very lucky to see my favorite band live. It was exhilarating living in the moment, dancing and singing with the band and fellow hustlers after a lot of things tried to prevent me from going.

‘I am here. I can’t believe I’m really here’

Confession time: I almost teared up when Therapy was played. Therapy is one of my go to songs when I feel sad, alone and when nothing feels right anymore and hearing Alex Gaskarth play it live, it’s really emotional–it’s sentimental.

I really wished they played ‘Somewhere in Neverland’, ‘If These Sheets Were the States’, ‘Afterglow’, ‘Chemistry’ and ‘Ground Control’ (and low key hoping Tegan & Sara would come out and surprise us) but there’s always a next time sooo wink wink

When Alex announced that they only have three more songs left, I was like: ‘Wait, what? It’s almost over? That can’t be!’ I guess it’s true that time flies by so fast when you’re having a good time. Alas, all good things must come to an end.

The show concluded with everyone singing Dear Maria Count Me In at the top of our lungs and being showered with confetti. And I. Want. More. The band didn’t have an encore, but one thing’s for sure, when they come back in Manila for a fourth show, oh my, Dear Maria, count me in.

 

UST Senior High School Week

Last February 14-18, 2017, University of Santo Tomas held its very first UST Senior High School Week…and it was pretty exciting for an event happening for the first time.

Before:

Senior High School students of University of Santo Tomas has been anticipating Senior High School Week ever since it was announced that we’re going to have one. This event got me curious (and I’m sure I’m not just the only one), I have no idea how SHS week will go. I’m thrilled for the parade and booths but they were all cancelled a week before the event. That got me bummed because I think those two will be the life of the whole week.

Faculty members and students were cramming and stressing (the fck out) a week before SHS week. Exhibits weren’t ready, the production team has only two or three days to practice their performances, and some students are sent to different places to buy materials for our strand exhibits.

During:

The SHS Week opening was my favorite part of the week. It started with a Eucharistic Celebration at the Quadricentennial Pavilion followed by the most blood pumping, adrenaline part of the opening, the UST Drumline and the performances of each strand.

Each strand has their own color to be identified:

• STEM- Black
• ABM- Green
• HUMSS- Blue
• HA- Red
• MAD- Orange
• PES- Pink

Finally a Thomasian!

The Pontifical and Royal University of Santo Tomas, the Catholic University of the Philippines, the oldest University in Asia and home of the Growling Tigers!

It’s been a busy week for me, and all other Senior High School students of University of Santo Tomas. Our week was full of activities:

August 1- Orientation
August 3- University Wide Orientation (Freshmen Roarientation)
August 4- Orientation
August 5- Thomasian Welcome Walk

It’s a good thing we had no classes last Tuesday for it was Misa de Apertura,  a mass attended by the University’s faculty and administrators to give thanks and guidance to Lord Our Father for the upcoming school year.

The highlight of my week was definitely the ROARientation and of course, the Thomasian Welcome Walk.